(Un)Shatter-Proofed

It has been a while
Guess that's my writing style
Feeling crazed, like the hatter
Don't understand, am I feeling sadder?

There are things which I regret
Too bad those things I can't forget
Now I see things at a distance
In my mind, such hesitance

Mistakes which I dare not repeat
Things I've stood for, now keep me in my seat.
I miss you, but it doesn't matter.
Alice rarely sees the hatter.

Events pass my head in a flurry
Time jumps ahead, it's in a hurry
I am scared, gone, I'm lost
Want to be found, but can't pay the cost

Lukewarm to me, are all the joys
Can't clear up all the white noise
No longer want to be a chatter
My heart, my mind, appear to be
Shattered

Take Me Nowhere

I've traveled quite a distance being so young
I've had snow flakes and warm rain touch my tongue
I can't count how many times I've turned that corner
But I go it alone and I feel like a foreigner

I'm thrown out, I am hurled
Into a giant scary world
Oh, there are so many places to be
So, which one is right for me?

I'm tired of all this travel
And all this loose gravel
Where do I find the ability?
To wind up in nihility

Drive up and around the bend
That is bound to have a dead end
I don't want here or there
I want to be nowhere

Chaos, lightning bolts and thunder
Really gets me to a wonder
Why do most avoid
The peaceful silent void?

And how many times
Has the troll's bridge burned down
How long has he questioned
Why he's still around?

My Happy Sixteenth

Today is 2-20
And in about 110
I'll be blowing out the candles
And eating cake again

One year older
And what do I have to show?
A little boy that's broken
And a girl that had to go

Somewhere there's a lesson
But for now I'm done messin
With little parables
It seems I've lost my marbles

On my happy sixteenth
What do you suppose it all means
The girls aren't any cuter
Than again I'm not a suitor
And that's prob'ly why
They don't talk to me

It's my happy sixteenth
I'll be driving in my new car
But with all the money I have
It's likely I won't get far

I told mom and dad
There's nothin that I want
But of course with mom and dad
My wishes they just taunt

I cannot understand
They say I've become a man
And it's a big accomplishment
I stand there still with no comment

Because in this little tale
I know how it will end
But somethin here is missing
Someone tell me, where do I begin?

With my happy sixteenth
What do you suppose it all means?
The girls aren't any cuter
Than again I'm not a suitor
And that's prob'ly why
They don't talk to me

It's my happy sixteenth
The school year is over
And I'll still have no lover
But I guess that don't matter anymore
Well I guess that it never mattered before
And I guess it all started in '94
But I guess it won't matter anymore

Because today is 2-20
And in about 110
It will be my birthday
And I'll be gone by then

Lines Left Unfinished

Lines Left Unfinished. A collection of old lines I found that I felt never fit anywhere or lines I never developed into full pieces.

1.
What is it this time?
Don't play games with me
Such confusion
Brings delusion

2.
I don't want to calm down
Maybe I have the weight on my shoulders

3.
My heart ripped out
Without a doubt
By the demons
In my mind

Down in the gutter
Don't feel any better
With the devil
I should not have signed

Like an alcoholic
I feel melancholic
Wrapped in darkness
I can't get out

Reality, can't perceive
Truth too hard to receive

4.
Invasion
Apocalypse
Blood red
Lunar eclipse

It's the end of the world as we know it
Who left it to a punk rock poet?

The throne of the world is up for takes
But it won't be long before it breaks
Powerful cities become a void
Nuclear bombs get it all destroyed

Infection
Dehydration
Execution
Resurrection

Deceased rising from their graves
As wholesome families misbehave

5.
I look at the stars
Reminded of your beauty
All the time you've been around
I hadn't discovered until recently

Out here, no luminescent pollution
Look up at the stars, think of you
You're the only thing on my mind

I miss you, I hope you miss me too
You're in my thoughts, I hope I'm in yours
I only pray for you, don't return the favor

6.
Its normal for a girl to want her choices
As a boy's heart will be broken a few times
And all throughout the pain

You never let them see you cry
Move on after you say goodbye
Learn to keep your cheeks dry
Push on until the day you die
You never let them see you

Tear up
Boy you better learn to gear up

7.
I'll have an order of heart break
Can you put that in a combo meal?
That way I can save some change
On all the pain I feel

You'll be eating it up

8.
Gray sky
Not a cloud in the air
Makes me feel
That it's not really fair

Why is the negative
Stronger than addition
It's just the way it is
In every math equation

Spinning Top (1st draft)

Why is it when I try to move on
That your image and voice loop through my head?
As I attempt to live on
I end up feeling so much more dead

I can't even save my own skin
I don't know that I ever could
Don't tell me you know where I've been
When I've only fallen inches from where I stood

I feel like a spinning top
I never travel down
And I never travel up

I feel like a spinning top
Someone's entertained each time I drop
And I don't travel very far at all
Yet I always manage a way to fall

Why are you spinning through my mind?
Is it some kind of trick?
Wish you'd stop wasting my time
Because I think I'm getting motion sick

The Rose and the Weed

Quick Note- Meant to be a Monologue for a psychopath who had just committed a horrible, sick, and torturous murder of a young woman named Rose. May be disturbing.

Rose, rose, rose
Blossoming young rose
So beautiful,
Yet there was a danger about you rose
Under that beauty
Lied a stem of thorns
You defined deception
With such an intrigue you had such a sting

Rose, rose, rose
I watched you
though you didn't know it
You never saw me
I was invisible to you
I guess a flower really does turn away from dark
One thing you didn't know as well as I did Rose
The dandelions were about

Rose,
I was a weed
No one wanted me
Everyone hated me
But you Rose
Had a fire, a spirit
That everyone watched in awe
I the weed only did what I was supposed to

Rose, rose, rose
I snatched you from your roots
and drained the life out of you
I peeled every thorn off your stem
Slowly, one at a time
The only thing I left untouched
Were those petals of yours
I left you nearly dead

As your petals rotted away
You began to hate yourself
Disgusted with yourself
You practically pleaded for me to finish you off
I thrust you up by the neck and spit in your face
I wasn't finished with you yet

Rose, rose, rose
They sought you out
Looked for you
Unfortunate for you
They came too late
I skinned you and burned you
Alive

Rose, Rose, Rose
I pulled your hair out
So that your head bled raw
I feasted upon your blood
Your screams of terror
Your tears of fear
I cut up your sides
I cut your fingers up and crushed your hands

They found the weed
They always do
The weed is the source of all problems
They pulled me away from you Rose
But they were far too late
You were but a cut up face and raw flesh
They keep me here now rose

Rose, rose, rose
I am called evil, vile, a monster
I said to the rest of the pretty people
I am but a weed who did his part
What's the big fuss anyway?
You're just a rose
You're dead, rose, rose, rose

Twinkle

I had once been a man who held in all emotion
Kept it concealed inside my rib cage like some kind of wild beast
I had no sadness, no anger, no joy
Exempt of emotion was I
I was a cold, dead stone
Letting time erode me
But of course, after every winter comes a spring
Every man has his moment of triumph

A figure emerged from a warm soothing mist.
Delicate, agile creature of the heavens
Lay her hand upon my blushing cheek
Stomach swelling up with a hot gust
The tension in my face, in my mind, in my dwindled spirit had faded
Lips were risen, a smirk lay accross my face
In the dark void, lay a twinkle in my eye
Happiness

The figure upsconded herself
This delicate, agile creature took all that I had
Deceived, shaken, left head down, my weight held by quivering knees
I am left questioning
Should I feel such a warmth only for it to be stripped from me?
Left scorned, an ugly beast
A gargoyle, watching those content
Not understanding their motives to continue life with such pains in existence on this cursed earth
A twinkle lives in my voided eyes,
A tear

I am left, not cold, but merely the chill flowing through the wind
I am a stone golem
I am an unknown passerby, a drifter
Nay, I am the dirt passerby's walk upon
The twinkle dwells no longer in my eye
My eyes are gray, jaded clouds holding in an eruption of nonexistent feelings
I was born winter, I had my spring
Of course I should fall

-Prose