Past Pains

I couldn't sleep at night. I stayed up as late as I could and forced myself to sleep during the day. I never went anywhere. Never did anything. I only ate to keep myself from dying. I was antisocial. I didn't want to be with anyone. When I was cut off from you, it was like I couldn't breathe on my own. And the air was cut from me. When you gave me silence. I turned deaf. When I couldn't feel your presence. I went numb. I didn't eat, because I couldn't taste my food. And I went nocturnal, because that's what my life had become. Darkness. And the light only hurt, only reminded me of what I'd lost. You became my everything. I needed you. When I couldn't have you, it killed me. Tortured me slowly, persistently. I felt the wrath of your silence. It burned me, then iced me over. That's how much you meant to me. That's how much I loved you. Those memories, still haunt my dreams. I ask why, why can't I forget? Why can I not forget these depressing times? And I realize it is because this was deeper than depression. This was heart break.